The Love We Wield
by Jonathan D. Allard
Summary: A story where Merlin learns to trust and even love the young sir Mordred by watching him closely. They say knowledge is power, so are love. Garding eachothers secrets, depending one oneanothers streangths and helpeng one anothes weakesses it the way to that love. Magic can only be use for good out of love. Slow-build


I would like to point out that in this story Merlin was about 17-18 going to Camelot, and Mordred was 13 when they first met so there's only 4 years between them. Arthur being 21 in the first season as well, because it's the historical time fitting age to become an adult male with the right to marry.

Anyway now Mordred is 18, Merlin 24-25 and Arthur is 28-29ish. And with Morgana as Urther's firstborn child out of wedlock she is older than Arthur, I imaged little under year or something like that, just enough so she have a claim to the throne.

* * *

 **The Love We Wield**

Chapter 1

"Merlin, step aside" Arthur said in a clearly irritated way.

"You know I never do as I'm told."

The man that had picked Arthurs sword up turned to Merlin, with a grin on his face. Reading a killing blow, with pleasurer in his eyes.  
Arthur looked a little panicked as Merlin had defied him and stood ready to take the blow.

"STOP" Yelled a voice form the tree lines. Everybody looked around to see the newcomer; he had light skin that made his dark brown curls look almost black. His cloths had been designed to let him go unnoticed in the woods; it was mostly black and brown. The color of his eyes stood out like lanterns in the dark; they were crystal blue with a tint of what looked to be delicate turquoise.  
Merlin had recognized him at once, he was the man the dying druid had shown him to be Arthur's bane.

"Shouldn't we live it to Lady Morgana to decide their fate?" It had been obvious that he had talked to the other men that was standing around the king and his servant. But the words had been as cold as his ice eyes that didn't leave Merlin for a second not even to glance at the leader that had picked up Arthurs' sword. The leader laughed as he allowed the sword to sink down in a less aggressive way, he turned away and left.

Even Arthur as dumb as he could be, noted the staring contest between Merlin and the stranger. They didn't take their eyes form one another before the stranger stood in front of the king with an out stretched hand.

"You don't remember me, do you?" The stranger's eyes had first moved from Merlin's, when he had spoken the words. Arthur looked like he was trying to recall something impossible.

"You saved my life once, many years ago." The memories rushed in Merlin's mind, he vaguely remembered the king saving a child. When Merlin first started remembering, it all came back clearly. A druid boy, blue pricing eyes with a hateful promise of revenge.

"Mordred" Merlin stated.

Both Arthur and Mordred looked his way, Mordred sending Merlin a soft smile with taunting eyes.

"Hallo, Arthur." Mordred said again cold as ice.

Mordred took out two leather robes from his belt and hinted Arthur to let Mordred bind his hands. As Mordred was done with binding the robe, one of the others men lead Arthur by the shoulder.  
All the others followed them, the last one turning over his shoulder and yelling.

"Hope you can handle that one on you own, youngling. He looks nothing but doe."  
 _'Emrys'_ Mordred said in Merlin's mind, as he took his hands one by one binging and binding them tidily together.

Mordred gently put a hand on Merlin's back leading him, as a knight would a Lady at the great feasts back in Camelot.

Merlin knew he couldn't use his magic to save Arthur and himself, not with a powerful and skilled sorcerer as Mordred around.

He could feel the power radiating from the young man's hand on his back. Merlin had only ever really known his own magic and he had always been forced to hide it. Witch had made him deal with the magic in a whole other way than he felt Mordred's magic act in.  
His own had always been cramming, structured and disciplined, while Mordred's was like a flaming brace of pure wildness, unpredictable and always shifting. It was what made him dangerous, Merlin could offend judge people on their magic or life energy, but with Mordred, he couldn't seem to find any kind of stability or pattern. Mordred's core was like wild magic. Merlin hadn't seen anything like it, not even Morgana was this powerful.

The thing that had Merlin completely surprised was the playful happiness and life joy it bobbled with, Mordred was bursting on the inside with joy, but on the outside he was cold as ice.  
Mordred too felt the others magic, it calmed him and his childish energy. It made him feel exposed and vulnerable, he knew what he felt of Emrys' power was just the top of the iceberg, the little bit of magic he could hold back. Mordred admired Merlin and enjoyed the feeling of his magic like warming fire, heating him up from the inside.

They didn't have to walk long before coming to a horse drawn wagon, with people bound like cattle behind it. Arthur already stood in the herd of people standing out like a light in the dark. Wearing his armor here made him stand out, it was so comical it made Merlin giggle for himself.

"Oh so you think this is funny, do you _Mer_ lin?" Arthur hissed at him.

"Shut up." Yelled the man that sat in front in the wagon.

Both Merlin and Arthur didn't want to risk their luck, so the silently agreed to keep their mouths shut. They walked bound to the wagon for a long time without any sound.  
Mordred wanted to make some distance between Emrys and himself, so he had taken the post of literally leading the way. It was the only reason he too wasn't bound to the wagon. He was and excellent guide and an even better hunter.  
Growing op learning to survive on his hunting skill alone, because it was too dangerous to use magic to a so simple a task. It didn't make it harder that he was a druid and born in the forest, always being hunted by the knights learned him to be observant of his surroundings. He was a great value to the men he was travelling with, but he wasn't a part of the brotherhood witch meant they would gut him the moment he wasn't any use to them anymore. He would walk faster if it meant Emrys' burning gaze would leave him alone. Not even when he turned his head over his shoulder to look back at Emrys, the shy blue eyes, hard as stone was still stocking him.

They had walked for hours before they came to the snow witch meant that they would only have a day's ride before reaching Morgana. However, with all the prisoners on foot it would take them at least to nightfall the next day to get there.

Mordred didn't know if he could stand Emrys piercing eyes on him that long, he was still bitter over the fact that the one who was supposed to save magic from distinction would have him dead. Nevertheless, over time he had learnt to understand and accept the fact of what Emrys had done. He no longer held a desire to get revenge; he had no hatred for Emrys or Arthur, nor Morgana.

He had seen the countryside and people of Camelot; he knew that people feared sorcery because of all the bad it had been used to create. He knew that if magic should be accepted back it shouldn't be through fear, but through love and respect.

Mordred knew Emrys was doing everything he could to fulfill his destiny, Mordred knew that he wanted to help the cause of magic to become legal in the kingdom again he needed to help Emrys and the King escape. He looked back again at Emrys as he made his decision.

"How did we end up like this? Oh yes, you were thinking about your stomach as usual. I told you it was a trap." Arthur tried to lecturer Merlin in how it was his entire fault that they were landed in this mess.

"I told you to go back to Camelot." Merlin said absent-minded trying to stop the conversation, to busy following Mordred's every move.

" _Mer_ lin.." Arthur was about to give Merlin another of those I don't abandon my men speech's, as the leader of the group yelled to hold, he quickly mounted of his steed and marched to the king.

"We can't let them hand us over to Morgana, we need to get out of here. We need a plan." Merlin spoke in a rush as the leader had come closer.  
When he reached them, he punched Arthur in his stomach as he said: "You speak when you're spoken to." He looked both Merlin and Arthur In the eyes before turning around and walking back to where he had left his horse.

"Faster" he yelled as he mounted back up.

The rest of the day was a monotone long walk, the silence and cold time became hard to judge. The group of men didn't stop before nightfall to camp.  
While the other prisoners, included Arthur had fallen asleep in the snow upon the hard of day travel. Merlin hadn't been able to find rest, for the cold and the fear of Mordred slitting Arthurs throat in his sleep. So he stayed op with chattering teeth, watching Mordred and the men.

"What are you gawping at?" the leader asked amused as he raised Arthurs fine castle-steel blade pointing at Merlin.  
Mordred looked back and forth between the leader and Merlin, with a worried expiration in his eyes. Sitting still, saying nothing just anticipating a reaction.  
The busk man picked up a piece of bread with the tip of the sword like it was oversized kitchen knife.  
"Is this what you want?" he asked as he motion to the bred with is head. He pulled the lump of the tip at tossed it to Merlin.

"Catch." The bread was just out of Merlin's reach, it had been the leader's intention all along, a simple form of amusement for his men, because all laughed but Mordred.

"Maybe we should feed them." Mordred voiced as he kept his eyes on Merlin.

"What for?" it was the leader there had asked.

"They'll be skin and bones." _So Mordred had some humanity left_ , Merlin thought.

"Morgana wants slaves, not hogs for the fire."

"Then, slow the pace." Mordred tried to reason. To Merlin it was obvious that Mordred was still young and unexperienced to follow orders blindly.

"The quicker we get there, the faster I get my money." He had said it with the sword tip pointing Mordred in the face. Mordred had given him a defiant look but said no more on the matter. Merlin had nearly expected for a childish outburst, but Mordred had with difficulty hold his tongue. Merlin could feel his magic twirling and Mordred's persistent attempt not to let it flow. Merlin knew the struggle, he knew it became better with practice and Mordred was still just lad, still raw in the proses of controlling the power he wields.

Merlin and Mordred again sheared a long meaning full look, before Mordred rising to find blankets and a commutable pace to rest for the night.

Early the next morning before any of the other men and prisoners had woken; Mordred was walking towards Merlin that had sat in the same cold position the whole night watching over the king.  
As he came closer, the only thing he was met with was hateful eyes, which made him sad and angry in the same time. He came with food taken from his own rations to share with Emrys and the king. He pulled bread out from under the hiding place under the black fur he was wearing.

"Do you want them?" he asked Emrys.

"Why are you doing this?" a question answered with a question, he should have known Emrys' pride would be too big to simply take the gesture. He glanced over at Arthur for a second before trying to explain to Merlin.

"He once saved my life. I owe him a debt. Don't be so quick to judge me." There were a moment of silence before Mordred realized what it was, he saw in the other ones eyes.

"You fear me, Emrys. Don't you?" He tried to make Merlin understand that; he had grown and become wiser than his years.

"I know the hatred and suspicion with which men treat those with magic. You and I are not that different. I, too, have leant to hide my gifts." He put the bread at Merlin's feet.

"I promise your secret is save with me." Not taking his eyes from the other sorcerer, to make sure he understood the message, before rising from his kneeling position, turning and walking away.

For Merlin the truth had hurt, he and Mordred was not so different after all. Both had been forced to grow op quickly, hide their true identity and they had both a big burden to carry, even though Mordred did not know yet.

"What is Morgana looking for in Ismere." That made Mordred pause and turn after a second and answering: "The Diamair."

"What is that?"

"In the language of my people, it means `the key´."

"The key to what?"

"The key to all knowledge."

As Mordred had left him, he took the bread and hid it as good he could, before crawling over to Arthur trying to gently shake him awake. Arthur awoke with a start, trying to fight the intruder. But Merlin had been expecting that kind reaction.

"Up and at 'em." He said with a smile. However, he only got a grunt and displeased glare back. Merlin took out one of the breads and tossed it in Arthur's lab

"Now you don't have any reason to be grumpy." He gracefully avoided the kick Arthur tried to give him in his sitting position. They sat quietly and ate the bread, or Arthur ate all of his while Merlin had ration his piece, so he only ate half of his piece. Not that he could eat anymore, because he hadn't had anything to eat for nearly 2 whole days.  
To soften the hard bread he had eaten a little of the fine white powdery snow, so it had become water in his mouth. Merlin knew it would be extremely dangerous to eat snow when it was cold, because one could get a serious hypothermia, but not getting any fluid ether could lead to dehydration witch was just as bad when having to physical active for 2 whole days strait. The king and his servant was done eating before any of the others had woken yet. After eating they didn't have to wait long, before the men there held them captives was up and having a quick bite before they were om the road again.

It must have been around midday or something when Arthur started to staggered around like a drunk, before passing out. And just being dragged by his hands.

"Whoa! Stop!" Merlin had yelled as soon he had seen Arthur wobbling around. The colon of men and horses stopped.

"He needs water." Merlin called, cursing himself for not telling Arthur to eat the snow with the bread. But he had assumed that Arthur had known how to survive in the nature, clearly he didn't.

Mordred looked concerned back at them. The captain must had taking a special like to Emrys, because of his loyalty to his master. That was something the captain valued over all other than his gold of cause. Mordred thought it was the only reason the captain hadn't yet laid a hand on the sorcerer.  
The captain had mounted of his black horse and walked to the back of the colon.  
"Get up." He yelled as he stood beside the laying Arthur. First, he kicked him to get a reaction to his words, but when the king did nothing the leader of their captors bend down to pick him up on his feet. When he finally had got Arthur standing on his feet again and the kings head between his hands.

"Not so much of a great warrior now, are you?" he laughed.

"Here, I'll help him." Merlin said, trying to soothe the captain and it helped, because he had let Arthur fall back on his knees and walked back to the horse.  
As Merlin looked Arthur over to see if he was okay after the rouge treatment, he saw the king wink at him and slowly show him the dagger he had stolen from the Saxon.

It didn't take long for Arthur to cut the leather that kept his hands bound, and after that everything quickly went to hell. Everything happened so fast after Arthur had signaled Merlin to pull the cargoes from the wagon.  
Mordred had made a small jump to the surprising sound, he had learnt always be ready to run, it had always come easy to him, acting before thinking that was. As running had become an instinct, he was always jumpy and alert. In his younger years, he had always thought of himself like a deer, to long legs, clumsy and scared by the smallest sound. However, it was the consequence of living alone always on the run growing up.  
Mordred had followed the captain with his eyes as he rode his horse down back, so he could figure out what was going on.

"Who did this?" he had yelled.

"WHO?" He had raised his voice. Arthur nod his head towards Merlin as Merlin spoke with short breath:

"We need to rest."

"Right you can rest." The brisk and dirty leader of the group said, as he pulled the stolen sword "Forever." But when the captain tried to jump Merlin, Arthur was fast on his reflects nocking the Saxon in the head, and thronging the stolen knife at one of the other men, the steal finding its way into the man's flesh. It had escalate to chaos in a matter of seconds. Men shouting, horses rearing and a mixture of fear and rebelliousness between the other slaves.  
The king and his servant fought bravely to defeat the Saxons. Arthur had taken his sword and a crossbow that had been in wagon, Merlin had taken an axe he used for appearance only.  
With the chaos up to their ears, Arthur and Merlin made a run for it. They kept running to they suddenly came to a tear in the ice. It hadn't taken long for the king to come to conclusion that they needed to cross over. Arthur toss the crossbow over the tear, it had Merlin nearly thronging a fit.

"You've got to be joking."

"Do you have a better solution?" sneered the king. As Merlin looked around, Arthur made space to make a run-up and jumped over the wide split, but as he landed the ice made a nasty crack sound.  
Merlin could hear a Saxons coming. Merlin was forced to jump. He did and when he landed on the other side he was quick to use the axe, he hacked the lump of where the rift in the ice had been small enough to cross it. None of the Saxons could follow them. The man that had been following them stopped at the cliff, staring at the king and his servant. Arthur took a long look and threated the person with the crossbow ready to shoot if he dared to follow them over the cliff in the ice. Were Merlin just had his eyes locked in deathly cold combat, between sky and ice. Between dispelling and wildness. For the man that had follow them was Mordred.

As Mordred walked away, he had a mix expression of betrayal and hate, as if daring Arthur to shoot him in the back. After the dark haired young man had left them, Arthur was quick to get them down behind a big drift of snow to hide them if someone else tried to follow them.  
"Why did you spare his life?" Merlin demanded to know, it would have been so much easier for them both in the future if Arthur had just fired the crossbow and let it boar deep in Mordred back, let the arrow go so deep that it would penetrate his heart and live him to die, letting his lifeblood color the cold snow beneath him.  
It would have been easier.

"He couldn't come after us." Ever the noble Arthur, with morals and a heart of pure gold. Sometimes like this Merlin cursed his goodness to hell.

"He was leading us to our deaths!" Merlin bellowed to point out that he was right.

"He showed us kindness." Arthur reasoned. Merlin were growing more and more pissed.

"YOU SHOULD HAVE KILLED HIM!"

"What is wrong with you?" it was very out of character of Merlin to want to take someone else life since he normally had way higher morals than Arthur himself did.

"You had the chance!"

"Well we still escaped didn't we?"

"Next time we might not be so lucky."

"I love you sense of optimism" Arthur mumble overloading with sarcasm. "Come on we need to keep moving." Arthur garbed Merlin's arm as he began to walk. They walked in silence for the most of the day, because there still were an elephant in the room so to speak. They still heavily disagreed on abut if they should or shouldn't have killed the druid.

"You know Merlin appearance can be deceiving." Arthur said. It was the first thing that had been said since there escape and the day was nearly gone, they had reached the castell Morgana used as her base.

"Trust me, not in this case." Merlin had nearly whisper now that they were so close to the castell.

They were lucky they did escape Morgana, but that was only because of Mordred. Mordred had saved them for now, but that didn't stop Merlin belief in Mordred to be Arthurs bane.


End file.
